If I am Married to God, how healthy is our marriage?

This is inspired by a Midweek lesson by Corey Graham, me reading the Victory of Surrender by Gordon Ferguson, and a D-time with Corrie McClary...thanks Corey, Corrie, and Gordon.

If you are a Christian/Disciple of God then you are to be married to Him.

How is your marriage?

Are you faithful, or are you cheating on God with sins you can't let go of?

Do you pray to him every day and think about him in the morning when you wake up, or are you sleeping in separate rooms? Have you thought about divorcing God altogether?

Divorce is a strong word- lack of commitment, inability to manage or resolve conflict. How quickly do we jump to wanting a divorce when things are not going well.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment not something you can throw away because it gets hard. Have you fought and struggled with your sin to the point of bloodshed? Most of us have not, we just see something that looks easier and run to it. Let me tell you why its easy, because it is empty and worthless. Though a temporary gratification is not difficult to gain, the wounds that are created are not easily bandaged. Our hearts long for a true satiation not found apart from our heavenly father.

Are you having one night stands with sin? Every time you do I guarantee it will get easier to do.

Has God ever cheated on you? Are you blaming him for things that are really your flaws?

Are you confessing sin, or are you nurturing it and keeping it in a glass jar on your nightstand, can't tell anyone about that, it is too embarrassing to admit I need God and other people to help me. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK? If you don't have friends you can be honest with then you don't really have a relationship with them do you? I am convinced that I am to please God.

Make it a habit to be humble and repent, when that becomes more of a habit than your sin, your heart will become softer.

As a married man you do not live like you did when you were single, you do have to say no to somethings, including yourself and selfishness. It requires sacrifice, listening, special times, being thoughtful of what Gods thoughts would be in the situation, because the two have become one.

Do you love God like Jesus loved the church, that is what we are commanded

We are to present ourselves as Faithful, holy and blameless to God.

When you are in love with someone is that not always what your conversation turns to? How often do you make it a point to talk about God?

Romans 8:5-8 you cannot submit to God if you are consumed by something not Godly

What are you addicted to that is getting in Gods way. Addiction leaves no room for anyone but you, friends that want to help, those that love you, people you avoid when you know you need to hear the truth but do not desire it.

It is easy to see what is right for you, but it is harder to get your heart there, you need to pray and ask God for help.

I fall again and again, but as long as you have not quit fighting you have not failed.

A woman is like a rose, take care of her and she will blossom, if you don't she will wither.

It is the same with our walk with God. What are you feeding? Your selfishness, your pride, your addiction, your worry...

Or your faith, your surrender in someone much bigger than you who loves you despite your faults and shortcomings...

Have some special time with God this weekend, get away, have a retreat from the things that distract you and focus on your partner, God. Nurture your relationship and remember what is important is the things that are everlasting.

2 Timothy 1:

Encouragement to Be Faithful

³I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. ⁴Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. ⁵I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. ⁶For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ⁷For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. ⁸So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, ⁹who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, ¹⁰but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. ¹¹And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. ¹²That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

Music, Comedy and hashing it all out and Surrendering

So yeah, I am trying to figure out how to soften my heart. Prayer is helpful. I also realized recently how much Music impacts my life. I live through music. It can take me anywhere, to a place I was happy, sad, joyous, all kinds of feelings and emotions can be aroused through hearing a guitar and some lyrics. They can also take me to some very bad places. Some music is associated with times in my life that I am not proud of, so I try to avoid them. Have you ever started singing a song and not realized where it came from? A lot of times we will hear them in adds, a grocery store, on someones ringtone, whatever, and they make us think of a time or a place, a friend or an experience. Music is powerful.

I used to be really anti-Christian Music. Yeah me. Because I associated it with a time in my life when my family was in turmoil, I was miserable and in counseling, and it represented the shell of myself that was the painted smile like a circus clown in my miserable life. I have gotten past that after having some tough times and realized that there is some really cool stuff out there now.

I LOVE music. I mean LOOOOVVVVVE it! There is often times nowhere i would rather be than rocking out to one of my favorite songs in my car. So I am really trying to positively influence myself by listening to stuff with a good message. I went to a metallica show not to long ago and they were amazing. But I thought as I made eye contact with James Hetfield and belted out "Sad but True" "Is this really an anthem i should shout with passion and look with intensity at a man who yes is very talented but could probably care less if I live or die?" You should see the passion that is in my eyes as I chant and yell and push people out of the way just to connect with this man full of anguish and nothing. I still admire him but I am trying to address things that may affect me subconsciously as well as the more obvious sins in my life.

I am going back and editing my comedy and trying to incorporate my struggles with things that can be constructive to others. I think there is really a market out there for laughter that is constructive and not full of filth. We are funny enough anyway with out daily struggles to be righteous. Doing the things we know we ought not to. Ignoring our heavenly father, have you ever seen a kid that would just not listen to their parent? Next time you consider wringing their neck look in a mirror and realize how often you blatantly ignore your heavenly father. I can make a lot of people laugh, but I would also really like to make them think and learn from the mistakes I so clearly see but often try to craft into humor instead of addressing. Being witty and funny means that I am very critical, so i can choose to make a joke or be constructive, one is more gratifying than the other immediately. Helping someone get to heaven is a lot more gratifying in the long term, don't you think? Thank God for the people that love me and tell me the truth like EC, RD, CM, AF, BS, and MA that really love me. Hopefully we all have a list of people that will not laugh at the things you can't seem to overcome, but ask you questions about what you are doing to grow and change.

If you have not realized that you have to surrender to God to be happy, start trying to get that through your thick and stubborn skull (mostly talking to me). you cannot make you happy. Wanna know how I know? I am really good at having fun, like way better than you, and when I try to be in control of my happiness I end up bitter and alone sitting in bed waiting for someone to call me or think of me. How stupid when God wants me all the time, he is always there. It is unbelievable that this world is so enticing to us. There is no end to the stupid lengths that we will go to for a cheap thrill that does not last. We spend so much time trying to be Lord that we tire ourselves out and finally go, "man I wish someone would be Lord for me!" DUH

These are my thoughts today.

Job gets some advice from his friends Like I have

Thank you all who responded to my post, it was very encouraging to hear from you. I know that you are all there for me, and Job has shared this with me this AM.

I can start a new day today and decide to be righteous, and God will restore me. I need to repent. The Devil wants me to dwell on my mistakes, God wants to bless me and for Glory to be given to His name through my life. Our time on earth is only a shadow of who we become in eternity (reminds me of Gladiator)

Many have come before and struggled with their faith, and many will follow, they would tell me to continue and to love God and to feed myself his word, that my heart would soften and my life would flourish.

How could I think I would succeed without the Lord? What I was depending on was a worthless cobweb, offering no support only a sticky feeling i got tangled in as I fell to the ground, Instead of it holding me up, it makes me flail looking for something real and I am afraid.

How great is the Lord who forgives me of my forsaking him. And he will not turn his back on me, ever. What an amazing heavenly father, who was crucified between thieves to show me the way, again and again.

Trust me, I am weary of leaning on spider webs.

Father forgive me for putting my faith in myself and in the objects of my desire. I will praise your name and give my life for you, every day, every hour, I will adorn the panoply of God.

JOB 8:6 if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place.
7 Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be.
8 "Ask the former generations and find out what their fathers learned,
9 for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow.
10 Will they not instruct you and tell you? Will they not bring forth words from their understanding?
11 Can papyrus grow tall where there is no marsh? Can reeds thrive without water?
12 While still growing and uncut, they wither more quickly than grass.
13 Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless.
14 What he trusts in is fragile [a] ; what he relies on is a spider's web.
15 He leans on his web, but it gives way; he clings to it, but it does not hold.

Business Tip: If you say you are going to do something,

DO it! Your integrity will make or break your business and if you cannot be trusted, it would be better for someone to have never worked with you. Even if you do good work, if you do not hold yourself accountable for what you say, you will be out of business.

If you absolutely cannot, then have a detailed answer of why it cannot be done that way and what the solution is that you have proposed, and you initiate the conversation to the person it most directly affects so they are aware of the issue and their integrity is not in question. This is some of the best advice I can offer being and entrepeneur.

Fall from Grace to Return to my Place

So here it is, I turned my back on God. Not "i'm struggling," not "I'm trying to figure things out," Nope. That would not aptly describe what has transpired in the last 6 months of my life. It is a pretty long story that has its roots a long time ago but currently I have made several realizations.

1. I am not good at making myself happy
2. I am miserable without God
3. I am so Glad he spared me in my stupidity
4. He has great things in store for me but I am always getting in His way
5. Even with a very extroverted personality I feel incredibly alone and unfulfilled without God

I needed some time to get real with myself though I would not recommend doing it the way that I did. I used to lead the Middle School Ministry at church and everything was going great. I grew up in the church more or less, I studied the Bible and was baptized when I was 16 and was in campus ministry and then worked with teens. Everything was going great except that my relationship with God was only existent for me to prove to others that I was worthy of my position.

THIS IS A PROBLEM, MY GOD WAS NOT THE LORD BUT PEOPLE!!!

I was so into the status and who I think that I am and people perceive me as that I was willing to deceive myself into believing that I was fine, all the while not pleasing God or rejoicing in his name. Little decisions daily started to go the wrong way. I can watch that, I can do that, I can say that, Jesus was not where the buck stopped, Jesus and my relationship started to be more of a boundary than a way of life. I started to sin at will with no convictions. I have determined that I have the capacity to be a very awful human being. This does not please God. I have determined that I will be a man of God and delight in being his son, no matter what it takes.

The world is not the answer, never will be, never has been, all the things that look enticing and wonderful are pretty much empty compared to the glory and honor and power of an eternal relationship with the Everlasting Father.